Confession Time & Other News
So...I haven’t posted here for a few months. Seems that I started getting busy with stuff and my time slipped away with me. I completed a course and got certified in Conversion Rate Optimization. Then I started my new blog and services focused solely on that. You can see it at the link above. I post twice a week there and although it’s challenging, it’s been a lot of fun.
I’ve also been working on the next Guide for Designers that should be ready next week. It’s going to be about finding your right clients and right projects. I’ve dealt with this issue a whole lot, as does everyone else and I felt that I should share what I’ve learned because I know it can help other people too. If you have something you’d personally like to see addressed in it, let me know in the comments.
There was also a ton of client work this summer and some scheduling issues that got out of hand. Basically though, it’s been me, running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find myself and my little place in this world. It’s been painful at times. Discovery and change is always hard, especially when you’re working on big changes.
Identifying what I like doing has also had me in deep thought about what I don’t like doing. And I have some confessions to make:
- I’ve never considered myself a Wordpress designer (I thought about this when I read good friend Tzaddi Gordon’s post.) I’ve always thought that there are different solutions for different types of clients and projects. The only reason we do more Wordpress sites that others is because a lot of our clients request them.
- I don’t enjoy designing “blog” sites as much as others. Not that I dislike doing blog sites. It’s just that the standard blog layout with the content on the left, sidebar on the right, etc. feels boring and cookie-cutter at times.
- I have a hard time letting my work go. A lot of people say that if a client requests changes you don’t agree with to not fight about it and move on. I can’t handle this well. I invest a lot of me into each project and it tears me up when I feel something’s not right and I get all grumpy about it. I literally care too much. I can’t help it.
- I have a hard time with putting sites together quickly. One of the things client’s compliment me the most about is that I’m very fast. But, truthfully, if I had my druthers, I’d prefer thoughtful work and that takes time and care to do.
- I have no interest in selling templates or themes or working with them. I mentioned in this post the reason we decided not to customize themes is because we were losing time and money on those projects, which is true. But, even if they were profitable, I wouldn’t enjoy doing that type of work much. See above about thoughtful work.
- I’m not as good as I could be about client training after a project is done. This is hard for me to admit because I like to help clients, but I don’t enjoy it as much as I enjoy helping people with other “deeper” issues.
- I’ve been dealing with major burnout. For a few years. It took me awhile to realize that doing so many things at once and pushing myself so hard was taking it’s toll. Especially because I was doing a lot of things I didn’t enjoy doing. I’m making a conscious effort to focus on work that I enjoy and find fulfilling every day and par down on things I don’t enjoy. Please consider doing this if you don’t. You deserve it so that you can be the best you can be.
- I let others define me. This is related to the point above. I let clients decide the type of work I did and how to define me. There’s nothing wrong with watching your market and stretching your skills to meet their needs. But, don’t do it at your own expense.
Phew, this has been hard and it’s getting long. Plus, it’s all about me and I’m starting to feel narcissistic. I’d love to hear about you if you’re inclined. What new things have you got going on? What struggles are you personally going through?
Comments
This really resonates with me. Last year I was feeling the burn out in a big way - I was having a very hard time just starting on each project. I couldn’t figure out why at first - I like to code, and I was coding, so what was the big deal?
I haven’t quite figured it all out yet, but at least some of it is realizing that not all code is created equal, and just because it is a new project doesn’t mean it is fun. Also, while all my customers are great, some of them have projects I enjoy a lot more. Some customers are more bureaucratic and tend to treat me like an order taker, not a valued partner. I want to be a partner in their software development projects.
Finally, I want to focus more of my attention on automating the things that I can. I’ve already started that process, and it is great because it leaves me with more time to focus on the interesting, thinking bits!
Great post, Naomi. We should all spend more time understanding who we are and what we love doing. Otherwise, we might as well go back to working for someone else. Yuck.
I can so totally relate to how you’re feeling. Time to stand your ground, take some breather space and set about finding a way to say no to the types of work that bring you down. Even redefining on your site, your best work and what you enjoy doing most for people will help you attract the right clients to you.
That is what I’m going to be doing next week, as soon as I complete some outstanding projects that I need to finish up first! Good luck. {hugs}
You say:
I have a hard time letting my work go. A lot of people say that if a client requests changes you don’t agree with to not fight about it and move on. I can’t handle this well. I invest a lot of me into each project and it tears me up when I feel something’s not right and I get all grumpy about it. I literally care too much. I can’t help it.
Amen, Sister! I’ve spent years learning my craft, and I cry actual tears when a client looks at one of my designs and starts “improving” it with their ham-handed ideas and grade-school writing skills. Do these same people head up to the front of the plane as they board their transatlantic flight? Are they reaching up to help the neurosurgeon remove that pesky tumor? Sheesh!
I’m not saying open to other ideas, not at all. But when they sound just like the “Clients From Hell” you read on the website, it’s time to have them put a sock in it.
Maybe it’s time for a tiered pricing system. This much if I do it, 200% more if you “help” me.
I think you and I have been going through a lot of the same stuff. Kudos and thanks for sharing :)
I was pretty burnt out before I went to the LiftOff Retreat in August. Starting to get grumpy (in my head) with clients’ requests. Too much going on that didn’t leave enough space for ME. So lately I’ve been practicing saying no to some of the not-so-right stuff in order to make room for the stuff that excites me.
And I hear you about not wanting to customize themes. For the most part I want nothing to do with that because it doesn’t excite me so it feels like a chore.
I’m working on a new package I’m pretty excited about. I discovered with my last package development that I really enjoyed having a project that wasn’t directly for clients - even though it was in the end for them, it was a lot of fun to come up with interesting concepts and do problem solving for a gap I saw in the market. So I’m doing it again and having a lot of fun with it.
I’m also working (ok, mostly in my head but it’s on my list!) on some new training stuff for clients. I also feel like I can improve there.
P.S. There is a great interview on Art Heroes Radio about creative burnout, with Sinclair
http://www.artheroesradio.com/2010/09/how-to-recognize-recover-from-and-prevent-future-creative-burnout-a-conversation-with-sinclair.html
Thanks for sharing Naomi, it’s good to really know what floats your boat, and what doesn’t. When you realize that you can’t (or don’t want to) do everything yourself, and you build that space into your pricing structure, life gets so much better. At least that’s what I’ve found in my various businesses.
I’ve been spending the past couple of weeks doing a lot of internal training, and I’m finding I’m really enjoying making screencasts and the teaching aspect of what I do.
Knowing what you love is the first step, and kudos to you for pushing off your boat in that direction.
Brave post, and eloquent. Thank you for sharing. Now I have to get brave enough to write something similar!
Um, wow! Well, first of all, I’d like to say that I’m so grateful and touched you all came by and shared your stories and thoughts with me. I was a little terrified that I’d post this and everyone would run away or just shake their heads. I know, totally irrational, but most fears are, right?
@Avonelle - I know just what you mean. When I feel tired and burnt, I tend to focus on things as if they were black & white. Like, “I don’t want to do html/css coding ever again!”. But, I realize that I still enjoy it on the right project and with the right client and especially if I feel I have space to do good work. I agree with you that work tends to feel a lot more satisying when you feel like a valued partner rather than an order taker.
@Jenn - Thanks for the hugs and good wishes. I think if we are mindful about what we’re doing and actively take steps every day to get better, we can improve our lives in many ways. Good luck to you too!
@Dick - I’m so glad I’m not the only one that cries in frustration about these things. Design sucks because it’s in this weird subjective area where everyone thinks they know what’s good or isn’t. Or you get a lot of frustrated artist types that want to execute their vision by magically moving your hands remotely somehow, LOL
200% more AND the extra PITA tax applied on top? Oh yeah.
@Tzaddi - I’m sorry you were having a little burnout period too. I never would have known. But, I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know it’s not just me.
Sounds awesome about your new package! If you ever want feedback or to brainstorm stuff together, let me know. I’m personally terrible at getting help on my own stuff, but working on that too. Will check out Sinclair’s interview, thanks for sharing!
@Jon - So true. For some reason, we start our own business and think we absolutely must take care of everything ourselves. Not sure where we get that idea. I’m so glad you’re finding the things you you enjoy more too.
@Cynthia - Thank you! If I can do it, so can you. Besides, I’ll be there cheering you on. :)
The appropriate reaction to creative work should be awe and glee, as if one is witnessing a tiny dog with wings flying through the air. And they ARE. The act of creation is totally freaking miraculous. Making something beautiful from nothing! How does this happen? But the act of paying someone to create a miracle somehow reduces appreciation for some people. I don’t know why this is. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing our story.
Oh dear, type-o. That was supposed to read “your story.”
@Kelly The typo is interesting because even though it is Naomi’s story, I think overall it’s pretty universal for creative service providers, including makers of tiny flying dogs.
@Naomi Thank you! I would love to brainstorm/feedback with you. That would be GREAT.
@Kelly - That may be the most appropriate typo ever, lol. That’s a funny point and so true. I don’t know why paying someone diminishes the magic. Perhaps it removes some of the mystique or going through the process does that. But seriously though, who could not be in awe of tiny flying dogs?!
@Tzaddi - Woo hoo! Let’s set up a time/place. I’m available via phone, skype, email, and carrier pigeons although my pigeons can be unreliable at times.
P.S. Listening to Sinclair’s interview right now. Lady knows her stuff.
Naomi,
Wow, kudos to you for have the courage to click “publish” and share this with the world.
I think there are many of us going through the same thought process. I know I am. Every year I say, “Ok, this year, I’m going to take a vacation.” and it never happens. I care a lot about my business and the people who have said “Yes!” to me. I’m constantly thinking of new ways to make things easier without sacrificing quality.
Then of course there is the internal pressure (maybe it’s just me :) to live up to some standard whether real or imagined; you know, comparing one self to others and how they do business. People make a lot of assumptions and are so quick to judge. It can be so hurtful.
I’ll have to have an honest chat with self and figure out what I don’t like doing.
Being a web designer is so all encompassing, isn’t it? I always say, “I’m not just a web designer.” and I’m still not sure anyone really understands what I’m saying. I think you wrote an earlier post about being a generalist or something like that… you have to know about social media marketing, development, visual design, logos, the art of branding, SEO and analysis… oy! You know, more like a conductor or would it be the producer of a movie?
Anyhoo ~ you are clearly one talented lady. Whatever you decide is your next step, I hope you do it for your self.
Good luck and now I’m going to check out your other blog! How exciting!
*hugs*
@Deb - Thank you so much. :)
I hear you about the vacation. We haven’t taken one for several years either. I think it’s one of those things you have to be extremely proactive about (saving money, planning, etc) if you’re self-employed or you end up putting other priorities ahead of it.
Yep, I did write a post about geralizing vs specializing: http://intuitivedesigns.net/blog/post/im-a-web-designer-i-think I often wonder what the future of web design will bring. If we’ll all need to be generalists or if specializing will be the key to differentiating oneself (and reducing the stress).
Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by!
Naomi, I thought you were one of those superhuman designers who never faced any of these issues that seem to plague my own design business! It makes me feel a little more ‘normal’ knowing that we all have some of these plagues in common. I wish it were discussed more often. Most blog posts on the subject of burnout are more academic - they will just quickly acknowledge that “it happens” and provide some watered down advice, but no one really opens up and admits to it in such great depth, as you have done.
The point that I related to most was the one about clients changing your work. Looking back over the past year, my FAVORITE clients were the ones that allowed me to completely control the creative process, because they hired me with the understanding that I knew better than they did on the subject of web design. Those projects were my crowning accomplishments—they came out looking great, in my opinion, while some of the others won’t even make it into my portfolio because they’ve been decorated with client “ideas” that really don’t work well, design-wise. Submitting design mockups to a new client is a fearful step, as I sit and wait for their feedback. Will they give an emphatic thumbs up and tell me to run with it, or will they come back with a list of “great ideas” to “make the site better?” One of my recent clients reviewed my design mockups and then emailed me to say how it really got their creative juices flowing, and they were sharing it with the whole corporate team to get everyone’s ideas. Mind you, there was not one person in the room who had any understanding of web usability, design standards, or best practices. Not that Cindy from Accounting doesn’t have amazing ideas for the website, but after reading their feedback, it made me wonder why they went to the expense of hiring someone like me when they ultimately wanted to direct the entire process.
Sorry for the rant, but just letting you know that you’re not alone! Thanks for opening up the much-needed discussion! Oh and I totally agree about taking a vacation. Just make sure you have the motivation to get back in the saddle after a week of relaxation - sometimes that can be an uphill climb!
Hi Seth! So nice to see you here. :)
Ha ha, superhuman? Don’t we all wish?!
Would you believe I thought it was just me too? I think problems like these need to be addressed more so we can help eachother through them and also so that we can be ahppier and serve our clients better.
True on the burnout issue too. I think a lot of people assume that it’s something that just happens in creative professions, but I don’t think it needs to be that way. There are a lot of things we can proactively do that help us fill more fulfilled and not so drained.
I don’t have a problem with client input as long as it’s sensible and goal-oriented. But, changes for no good and valid reason tend to get frustrating for sure.
Thanks so much for sharing your own experience. I’m so glad you did!
I think it was Steinbeck who commented on designing and letting go of websites (sort of),
“Authors never finish books. Editors just rip them out of the author’s hands”
ttfn
J
@Jay - Smart guy, that Steinbeck character!
Oh the trials of an artistic heart traveling through the world of mindless critics, I can relate to your internal dialogue in so many ways it was as if I were writing the article. Thanks for the encouragement in knowing I am not the only one who gets mired down at times.
One of my best customers, amazing as it sounds, is one whom in the beginning I fought tooth and nail with over everything. I mean fierce battles over what I know to be right, and what they wanted with the truth cast aside. Six sites down the road, they still want the same ugly designs, I still don’t use their sites as reference, but when they contact me I get on their project ASAP because they don’t haggle price and they pay instantly.
Sometimes I have to remember the websites I design are not works of Rembrandt, not me, but reflections of my client and they are paying me to hold the mirror. I can make them look however they want, but in the end they will still be who they are.
Press Forward
@William - Thanks for stopping by and the nice thoughts and encouragement. :)
It certainly helps to think that this happens to just about everyone. Hard to deny that it gets frustrating although maybe it’s just part of this kind of work.
Hi Naomi, you stressed some very important points in post, and remind me to stop for a while and think about what am i doing wrong.
And i come to conclusion that BURNOUT, is my biggest problem. I am also trying to do so many things at once and now i am involved in too many unfinished projects and that definitely taking it’s toll. So I can’t provide quality and and also do not enjoy working any more…., and what is point in that….
Like to read your posts, Thank you
@BTS - I’m glad you found it helpful! Wishing you the ability to take on just enough projects and the right kind that don’t burn you out. :)